Quoting George Lucas: All hero has its beginning, all legend has its birth. AS SHAMEFUL AS IT SEEMS, THIS IS AN EVIDENCE OF MY “DARK KIND OF FEMININE ROCK PAST”.

NOW





AND

THEN


Come on, you can say there was at least an improvement in the instrument.

I don't know some of u play guitar. For those that do, you know how it feels like when a string breaks. yeah I know it is lame to start a post like this. But still. I was in the middle of what is commonly called jamming. Following the words of some popular and not that popular rock bands when it happened.

I was finally creating a good solo and I got speechless in music terms. It is the same felling as if u were to give a weeding speech and you lose your voice. As if are doing something with a girl and the picture of your mom comes to your mind. Yeah, I know I am being a pussy about this. But men, I have no strings left and it is the fuckin 5th I buy this month. All I want is just play. But I am forbidden for such pleasure.

I guess I will go back to the kitchen and drink something. (No, as shocking as it sound it won't be Tequila). I think I'll go with some scotch. I'll make up my mind while I walk the corridor. Cause there are something around 30 ladies here, all chatting about how husbands are lame, children grow fast and what new diet was created.

I think that problem with women is not that they are not smart. But they think they are as smart as us. Probably our mistake was letting them get out of the kitchen and bedroom. Or probably the biggest mistake in society was getting shopping malls and let women enter them.

What's wrong with us men? If they are asking for equal rights then why do we pay the first dates? We open the doors for them or even let them go first in boats and rows. The fools are us here. It is time to take a stand. Freud, Aristotle and even Hitler agreed with this. No math, psychology, science or belief is able to explain such a rational pattern of activity described by the feminine sex. I am only 17 and I know I need them even though they make my life impossible. Imagine by the time you get to 40. They are the reason my heartbeat rises, getting more chances for cardiac problems. They are the reason I can't concentrate at school, I change my priorities, I lie, I manipulate. If we didn't have this problem probably lies wouldn’t bee a problem of society.

By this paragraph I think all women probably left by now and will not talk to me again till I get dressed as a women in the middle of Downtown and go screaming, I want estrogen! But I am not the only one who thinks this. If u are a "taken" lady. I mean you are currently dating someone; you might think your boyfriend may not agree with me. But, bottom line, this is not only my opinion, all men know this. We only pretend to be sensible so that u ladies actually go with us into the bedrooms. I am sorry fellows, I know I just gave away our secret. But we all knew we were not kidding anyone, they knew it all along.

Maybe the fault is not from us, but from leaders and religions that make us believe they are the reason for our "perfect" sin. The reason for our eternal punish of mortality. The reason we were expulsed of heaven once.

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Well, I think it is time to apologize to all ladies out there (If any of u is still reading) for being such a jerk. Probably it is all because of the effect of this toxic Mexican food I ate. There are about 5 kilograms of Mexican food today at home. So... You know.... I guess what I want to say it: Sorry for telling u ladies the truth u didn't want to hear...

Just kidding.

Seriously, SORRY.

YOU ALL GIRLS KNOW I AM ADDICTED, HELPLESS AND IN EXTREME DEPENDENCE OF ALL U. WHO AM I KIDDING? But I am still a man I can't betray my sex-team (sounds gay?).

If you ladies feel like you should support your feminist rights (girls always fight back), I DARE U YOU GIRLS TO LEAVE A COMMENT.

MICHELLE JUST SEND ME THESE BY MAIL. ONE OF THEM IS FROM THAT FIELD TRIP. THE OTHER IS THE AMAZING SHOT OF A LAND WHICH BEFORE TODAY ONLY EXISTED IN OUR DRUNK MINDS. NEVER SEEN BEFORE SHOCKING ASTONISHING IMAGES OFTEQUILAVILLE

PLEASE DON'T FORGET READING TODAY'S (MONDAY)
PREVIOUS POST... (THE ONE WITH PURPLE FONT).

I feel better now.

I have to get things in order in my life. And I was thinking... I always make those careless promises I never keep, and they only frustrate me even more. So I decided to show u all guys what are my, lets say, "objectives" for this month at least.

1-Keep on with my Diary (A gift from an admiring colleague)
2- Start Read 1984
3- Read the "CHAOS" book for thesis and actually start working on it
Plus end Great Gatsby, and old those books I've left in the middle. (Consider this part as unlikely to happen)
4- Getting organized with the Indigo Ginava band.
5- Learn the songs for guitar from Joplin and other ones Samuel asked me for the band.
6- Talk to Vitor and Gatsby about the scripts
7- Go to the movies and actually watch a movie I wanted to see.
8- NOT DRINK OR SMOKE ANY MORE. (Yeah like I actually believe this one)
9- Catch up with physics and BSS at school. Do things I am supposed to get done.

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Well, better stop the numbers before I show myself less constant of my ideals. The thing is Today I need something. A spark from something I don't know what it is. Have u ever felt that. It is like it may be just a call, or a notice, gossip, TV episode, meal, song; I don't know what it is.

I don't know how to keep on this post, which I really do not desire ending here. Maybe I should tell u of one of the most unexpected Sundays in a long time. Well I can say I was in the eye of the traffic tornado for a while. Lagoa, Copacabana, Botafogo and Flamengo were all as slow as a turtle having wild turtle sex.

Stupid enough I went though all of these 4 neighbourhoods. BUT I KNEW AND FELT IT WAS AN ODYSSEY WORTH THE DESTINY. I live in Flamengo, I had to cross a great part of Botafogo, including the beach it self. Then I went as far as I could through Sao Clemente. Just to take Copacabana afterwards and re-enter Lagoa. All this during a period of an hour in a cab. Sweaty, with no money and with a paranoid unwelcome feeling. But then, once at my destiny I felt warm, happy and calm. Like a little kid when he runs to his mom during a storm I went to where I knew my problems didn't get passed the door. Where the word anxiety and nervousism were simply non-sense.

And after a sequence of events, which as you may see, I am being not too specific about. I saw myself rounding what I once hear to be call as "bohemian decadent". streets of south Rio at late night. Strangely my parents were not as mad as I thought.

I don't know if u guys have ever been in such a city in which events like these are of the day-a-day order. But one of the several experiences I felt is the following. Traffic sucks. And you should really consider this since I've experienced a two way street in Mexico City static for hours. When u got though such an experience (awful one) and u can still admit that the traffic at Rio, which is normally such a normally fluent city was devastating and tiring yesterday. It is not that nice.

Well... Still looking for that feeling. I really don't know how to get it. Maybe it's just a "1st day of week" feeling.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND SPECTACULAR MOMENTS WERE NOT WRITTEN DOWN, CAUSE THOSE MEMORIES WILL RELY ONLY IN TWO PRIVATE PLACES, ME AND THE “BROWN-PAGE THOUGHT HOUSE”. ONLY THEY AND THE "CREATOR" OF THE EVENT ARE ALLOWED TO SENSE SUCH EXPERIENCE.

I need to talk to someone...

Feel trapped..

I am not well right now...

Not feel like writing..