Right now I'm kind of in a hurry. I've got to get with André and Samuel, then change
again and go meet with Roberto. I still have to finish writing what I have about the party. I'll post it afterwards.

By the way, do any of u know how Fran is? Meanwhile some authentic photos (PARENTAL CAUTION: SOME IMAGES MAY CONTAIN SOME STEEL ACTIONS WHICH MAY DISTURB CERTAIN ADUENCIES):

Right now I'm with Estevan. He is gonna stay the whole weekend here since his parents are travelling. But well, he will tell u the story today probably.The thing is that it’s been 3 hours since I got home.

I came back from the "skipping classes day". It was a shinny hot spring day. It was simply outstanding. Roberto and Sasso though it was to risky. So at the end only Rafa and me rounded the streets of zona sul. We went to Leblon at 8:00 AM. Place where we spent most part of the morning. Then we went to have breakfast while everyone was at math. Afterwards we just came home and took some pictures.

These are some of them:

TOMORROW...FRIDAY 4TH... PART AT RAFA'S HOUSE... AND IT'S MARTINE'S BIRTHDAY... PLUS ME RAFA, MAYBE SASSO AND ROBERTO WE ARE SKIPPING CLASES, SO IF U GUYS WANNA DO SOMETHING GIVE A CALL........................................................

Hey everyone... I still have to conrifm but Rafa told me to invite u to a party at her house on Friday...

I'll post more about this when I get home. I am currently working on the comments which lately seem to not work anymore.

Finally I can post the so talked about photos. Chicao just send them. Before you look at them read Chicao’s analysis of that twisted and as always bizarre night:

I got home by 3:00 and it's
07:00 right now. Let me tell how was the party.

I went to my particular cave and got Chicomobil. I left home by 8:00 and went
to Tevão's home. I arrived there and we went to buy tequila. Oh, Yeah!

I paid R$11,00 and Tevão paid R$30,00.... Sorry but I was out of cash. Tevão
is still waiting for "coperacha"...Poor guy....

After that, we went to Malu's house to pick up her. It began to rain...I score
like 10 points with her mom, because of the ride. I'm grateful...Then, we went
to Ale's house, where we picked up Heather and Ale, of course.

Chicomobil was full but still happy. Ale taught me the way to get to Potros's
house because when it comes to address and streets, I'm a dumb...

Stefano called me and said he wanted to go to the party, but my car was full,
so, he didn't go....

My radio played this songs (Hey, I'm drunk but I can remember that): Otherside
and that one about the city I live (Red Hot Chilly Pepper), Dig'in and Fly
away (Lenny Kravitz), A horse to the water (George Harrison), A little less
conversation (Elvis is not dead, man!), My favorite Game (The "Cardigans"),
Layla (Eric Clapton), Twist and Shout (The Beatles) and Hotel California (wich
made Tevão and Ale reach the sky). My mind doesn't allow me to remember
more....

I don't have any idea about the time we got there but we arrived safely.
Potro, Roberto, a guy that I know but forgot the name, an american-german-brazilian
girl and Potros's sister were there. We entered in the house and began the
night with a single shot.....of tequila!

When I drunk that, I thought: "Man, this is gonna be the perfect night
for everybody! I can feel the alcohol in my bloody! I can feel that I'm alive!
I'm so happy!"

Gosh... Well, we were there doing nothing, just talking with people. Potros's
sister did some Tacos and we were as fast as Speedy Gonzales in eating that...

After a while, Caroline, Tato and Samuel arrived. I was in my 3rd shot, so I
was high...I mean, I was in heaven...

I'm not going to say names, but 3 guys and 1 woman went to bathroom to see the
black light Tevão brought. It was the place for sex! Condoms and privacy in
one place! Someone said: "I'm so horny!"... Hey,hey,hey! I'm JUST
kidding...

All the guys were talking and having fun. That's the purpose of a party...Then,
Martine and Juliana arrived. The party was complete.

Like I said, we were talking for the rest of the night. I can say that someone
scored last night...

Man, I'm thirst right now...

At 2:30, chicomobil decided to leave. We left the house. My radio played these
songs: Don't Look Back in Anger, Wonderwall, Stand by Me, Champaign SuperNova,
Supersonic and Gas Panic (Oasis). Oh,oh,oh, I forgot! I sang "Atirei o
pau no gato" too. I sang to myself... I think it's a big hit....

I was a little drunk, so I drove as slowly as I could. After doing my work, I
arrived at home. I was tired but I think the party was good. Everybody, until
next weekend...

- Anyone who feels uncomfortable
seeing his/her name here, contact Andres and he'll do what is supposed to do.

-Andres reviewed this text, so, it's not my fault any mistakes.
-Check the photos, guys!

STALKING EYES SURVEY What do you think about the stalking eyes of the page? What Eyes? I simply love them Best idea I've seen in years I don't give a shit They make me horny I agree with Malú and Rafa, they annoy Show Results

Since I have no idea what to think about this once again bizarre weekend. I’ll let u all tell me based upon this review:

FRIDAY- DAY I

It all starts with me getting late to school. This was manly because I stayed all night studying for chemistry and doing the BSS project. But the stupid of me misses the chemistry test because of my distraction with the project.

When I’m finally done I go to school. It is late and it’s already hot. But well. I am pretty stressed cause I still don’t know how or when to print the work. Plus if I was going to be able to take the test the same day. And afterwards I still had PE. Well, after all that stuff I get out of school and my mom has already left. So I get home at around 5:30. Vitor already is inside the movie watching the film I couldn't arrive on time to.

Mean while I’m start calling people to see what they are going to do. Finally I leave home and pick up Vitor and Rafa and head to Downtown. It was there where the plainest part of the night occurred. We tried to get drunk but since there were these inspectors we weren’t able to even get happy. Then we stayed talking, but everyone started leaving earls. And only a few of us actually went to New York. We were supposed to go to Game Works –don’t know why-. But when we got there it was all closed.

Therefore we head to Estevan’s house. There, Andres joins us in our lame solitary and sober night. Rafa started getting worried about here parents and getting grounded. But after paying Chicao R$30 and promising to find any type of girl he agrees in taking her home. Since the taxi was supposed to arrive in another hour.

On our way I start getting sleepy. We had run out of cigarettes and there was no alcohol to drink. We took Rafa home. And on our way back we stop at McDonald’s to buy some food. It was 3:00 AM and it was officially almost a day without sleep for me. I was half-awake half-asleep. They even almost abused of my state by trying to get me money for the food. Thankfully I was not that sleepy.

By 4:00 AM we are all having dinner, just after Chicao left. I start sleeping and they stay (Estevan, Sasso and Andres) talking about life. When I wake-up I feel a COLD WHITE AND STICKY FLUID on my hand. My first impression was that it was not cream of course. Since it was not the first time they had threaten me in dong a nasty thing If I slept before. But thankfully it was only shampoo.

By 5:00 we are al sleeping. We wake up and leave early the next day. Sasso and me we leave by Frescao and get home in an hour.

Saturday DAY II

When I get home. My parent tell me I have 5 min to do anything cause they are going back to Barra. And guess where. To DOWNTOWN. I went to buy some stuff and had lunch at dominos again. I walked the same bars. It was very weird. I felt so pathetic. So dirty. The whole place looked as a ghost town. But well. At 7:00 PM on our way back we pick-up Estevan and Pricilla. We get home at 8:00 PM more or less. I hurry up, but my parents decide to leave early. After calling some people Estevan and me leave home. We go to pick-up Vitor by CAB. But he is still having dinner. So we wait for while.

On our way to Lagoa, Vitor’s mom is talking us, and my dad calls. He tells me that I have to go and pick-up my sister and take her to Lagoa. Since her ride had left (Roberto's car). I asked gently Vitor to leave me at the beginning of Sacopa. And I don’t know if u know the street, but it is a steep high road. I had to run it and get to the top with al my night equipment.

By the time I reach Roberto’s house at the top. Place where my sister and Pri are waiting I am so mad with my parents that I decide to go upstairs and confront them. I forget they are in front of Estevan’s and Roberto’s parent and we start fighting. Of course my dad got really mad at me. He takes u to Lagoa and finally by 10:00 PM I get there. FINALLY I AM AT PARK DOS PATINS. And since FRIDAY sucked I hope it would be better. And it was. I start by seeing that everyone is there as they said. WE are all drinking. Plus it is actually cheaper, better and closer than downtown.

I even meet Freitas and some people I didn’t expect to see there, but was glad to.
Then, like 3 hours afterwards some leave home and others go to this rave. I decide to stay with Vitor, Rafa, Malú, Samuel and afterwards Rafa’s friends. We start drinking cheap wine and more and more tequila.

We end up near the water. Me, myself, being really drunk. I end up talking to strangers about cigars. I actually think I kissed someone or did I only try to? I don’t quite remember it. But the smell of alcohol and pot was strong enough to get me down on the woods lying seeing the sky.

Suddenly I see this couple making out and I say to my self. Damn I wish I could be doing that right now. But then I remember why I choose a better path. And search for something more valuable than that.

It was about 3:00 AM when I was shaking of coldness, drunk and horny. But I decide it is time to leave and since Malú had mysteriously disappeared (I know why now) and Samuel had left. Vitor and me decide it is time to retrieve troops and go. Rafa stays with this guy and I get home to find out that my parents haven’t eve arrived.

I went bed at around 3:40 AM and started calling people. Only a few answered. But then I felt asleep with my dizzy view of my room. It had been a weird, but excellent night. It was great, but still I felt like I needed something more.

SUNDAY DAY III

I wake-up by this strange phone call from a friend of my mother. It is 1:00 PM and they are calling me to have lunch. I go and spend most of the afternoon playing and testing the pedal I had bought on Friday. I was just waiting for someone to call, to get me out of that storm I was just about to enter in my mind.

The cell is ringing. It is Rafa. We talk about the thing of studying math and she invites me over to help her. I take a cab and go. There we actually didn’t even study but watched Vitor’s DVD. It is TWIN PEAKS. It took us out of this ground. And took me a while to come back to my senses. But then. By 10:00 PM I am back at home writing this.

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Well. Surprisingly I am not going to do any type of comment, philosophical analogy or complain about it. Just narrate the weekend.

Chicao is going to be gentle enough to send me the photos of last Friday soon. I already saw them and they are awesome.

Lately I’m feeling like I’m getting a step closer to alienate my self from this social-personal system. I no longer feel that attachment or even relate as before, with what I used to act like, where I went to and whom I trusted my person to. I feel my mind is escaping a thought at a time from what I once cheered, cried and shout for. I am not talking about my ideals and opinions of what surround us. I am addressing this to those which I realised how I have forgotten them in a sense. I used to believe, I used to hate, I used to understand. Oh how naïve was I. How proponent was I in thinking I could figure it out. So blind to believe my talkative mind sentences were true, fair and morally correct.

Because of these months I want to apologize to everyone. I don’t know what I like, what I want, what I need to fight for, and what to declare as lost. Its not like I used to know all these perceptions. But now, I lack any sort of intendment with this surreal chaotic systematic world, which my eyes are creating for my weak mind. I want to undo the possible consequences that may be created yet. I have not walked with u in your track any more. I have delayed, maybe I’ll never get the rhythm again, and maybe I just took another exit, another road. I want to apologize to those people to which I hurt them in any way. To those people my insensible comments made their body get filled with anger and strangeness, spend time trying to understand the reason for such declarations.

I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t feel like the guy I see in my mirror. We all feel like this of course, but it is not only that I have no idea who he is, but I can’t even look at it at all. I terminate things without thinking, I start others, which I’m not going to be able to control and carry on as if I was with all my senses. I’ve been self-centred, egocentric, selfish, unequal, SORRY everyone. I have no idea why the fuck am I writing this, but just try to read between the lines.

I think I see this as a very thin window, just about to close. An opportunity which I must run to hold it. Allow that flow of air to pass. To settle things down. As they were before, as we used to be. I think it is now impossible. All I hope is not lose that what once seemed as a whole, all those friends and relations that I once gave and dedicated myself entirely to them .I won’t let them fade. Not while I can do something, not while I still own the slightest control of myself.

(I have some stuff to post about the weekend. I’ll post it as soon as I get done with it).